Agony
by Cat2000
Summary: You always hurt the ones you love.
1. Chapter 1

**Agony**

**Chapter One**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from Supernatural, and I'm not making any money from this fic. I don't even really own the idea for this story, since it comes from a challenge posted on another site

**Summary:** You always hurt the ones you love. Dean is possessed by _the_ demon, and is forced to watch helplessly, a prisoner inside his own mind, as the demon uses his form to attack the people Dean loves. Set after the events of Season One

**Warning(s):** Extremely dark fic – contains lots of torture, possibly character death; swearing; violence; spoilers up to and including the end of Season One; probable AU

**Author's Note:** Believe me when I say that this fic is _not_ going to be all happy and go-lucky. Don't say that I haven't given you fair warning. Oh, also – apologies for the messing-up of the formatting. I really can type properly – it's just that certain sites doesn't seem to like certain punctuation being put together.

* * *

Dean was in agony. 

Not just pain – but _agony_. Forget everything else – it felt like his insides had turned to acid and were burning him up. All of the other pain – even when the demon had ripped his chest open from the inside – paled in comparison.

"Dean, are you all right!"

Dean tried to open his mouth to respond, but, to his dismay, his body wouldn't obey him. He couldn't even close his eyes; couldn't lift his hand to wipe away the blood that was streaming down his face. A gurgling sound bubbled up from inside his throat, and, for just an instant, Dean had the feeling he was going to drown in his own blood.

"Hang on, I'll get you out!" And hands were grabbing at him, unclasping his seatbelt. Dean had a moment to wonder how much damage had been caused to his beloved car, and then white-hot pain flared up in his arm as he was tugged out.

_I'm gonna throw up…_ As soon as Dean was safely on the grass outside, he doubled over, and retched violently. The cool evening air did nothing other than to aggravate his wounds.

"Dad, we need to get him to the hospital." The speaker had his hands resting on Dean's shoulders, holding him steady. "Hang on, buddy," he whispered, using something cold and damp to wipe at the corner of Dean's mouth. "You'll be pleased to know that I got you out before you threw up all over the upholstery." Despite the speaker's attempt at light-hearted conversation, his voice still shook slightly.

"I told you, Sam. Right now, there isn't much the hospital can do for him. Unless you want to explain how he started getting clawed from inside his shirt."

_No… No hospitals._ Dean tried desperately to convey that to Sam as his brother moved round in front of him, but wasn't sure it had worked. _Come on, psychic boy…_

"You'll be all right, Dean." Sam sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as his older brother, though. "Dad's all right, and I am as well." Sam always seemed to know the right thing to say to Dean.

_I'm not going to be all right…_ When the demon had released John Winchester, Dean had felt _something_ enter his body. Now, he could still feel it – pushed back to the edge of his mind and giggling with maniacal glee. It laid open his memories, bared the pain to drive Dean to the very edge and destroy his spirit.

And what was one of his most painful memories?

* * *

_The rain fell on the two brothers, almost like the tears that Dean refused to shed, even now. Two pairs of eyes stared at each other, as Dean silently pleaded with his brother not to go._

_Not to leave him behind._

_His eyes, the look on his face, said all the things that Dean never would – _could_ never – say._

_But Sam didn't seem to realise the pain that was there. Or, if he did, he ignored it. "Dean, I have to do this," he said softly, his tone and expression pleading with his big brother to understand. "I want to… I _need_ to live a normal life."_

_And Dean could never ignore his brother's wants or needs… Defeated, he finally released Sam's arm, only to grab the kid's hand and slip in the money – everything he'd made from hustling pool – as much as he had. "You'll need this, Sammy."_

_The ghost of a smile flickered across Sam's face. "It's _Sam_," he corrected reflexively. Then, he grew serious again. "Dean, are you… sure? It's your money."_

"_You need it more than I do." Dean dismissed Sam's worry with the truth of his answer. "Take it. Please." The 'please' slipped out automatically, and Dean almost took it back. "Besides, I can get more easily," he added quickly._

_Sam still hesitated. "Dean, I…"_

"_Hey, I'm trying to cut you a break here!" Dean responded, his tone sharper than necessary. "Go. You think you can walk away from this, from what we do, this easily? And since when have you bothered to worry about what _I_ might want!" For too long, he'd been trying to act as the mediator between his brother and his father. Now, it was no longer his job._

_Sam didn't need him anymore – not like Dean needed his little brother; not like Dean needed his family. As usual, it was the older brother left to try and pick up the pieces, to try and put everything right._

_For a long time, older brother and younger stared at each other. Then, Sam simply turned and walked away._

_And Dean was left, alone, in the rain._

* * *

Sam paced the room of the motel agitatedly, glancing periodically at his brother, and unable to shake the feeling that something terribly wrong was happening to Dean. Something that went far deeper than the injuries caused by the car crash, or even the demon. 

Sam could hear his dad talking quietly on the phone in the bathroom, and he couldn't stop the rage that filled him. _Even _this_ isn't getting any reaction from him other than anger about how I let the demon escape! Some things are without price – I couldn't have let Dad die just to destroy the demon; I wouldn't have been able to let Dean die, either._

He couldn't stop the feelings of guilt that assaulted him, though. He should have been able to use telekinesis to get the gun. Hell, the car wouldn't even have been smashed if Sam had been paying attention to the road and not arguing, yet again, with their Dad!

"Dean… I'm so sorry." Sam moved to his brother's side as he heard a soft whimper come from the usually stoic hunter. The fact that his big brother, the one who had always been his hero, was in pain was extremely difficult to bear. _Dean doesn't let himself show _any_ weakness whatsoever. If he's whimpering, it's gotta be bad._ Even with the events in the asylum, Dean had refused to admit how much the rock salt embedded in his chest must have hurt.

The younger Winchester shook his head as he laced his fingers through Dean's, trying to send his silent support to his big brother. _I'm not going to think about what happened with Dr. Ellicott in the asylum… I already apologised for that, and Dean forgave me._

Dean's brow wrinkled, and then he forced his eyes open to look up at his brother. "Sammy…" he whispered, and then swallowed. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked pale – _too_ pale. "… Did ya get the number of that truck…?"

Sam tried to smile, but was aware of the fact that it probably wasn't a very good effort. "It was gone when Dad and I came to. Hey, you probably don't want to look at yourself in a mirror," he attempted to tease gently. "I think you'd scare off any potential one-night-standers." He started to pull his hand free of Dean's, but hesitated when his brother's hand tightened around his. "Dean?"

"Don't go, Sam," Dean whispered, closing his eyes again. "You don't need to go to university…"

Sam couldn't help a chill at his brother's pain-filled words. _Is he delirious?_ "I'm not going anywhere, Dean…"

"Sure you're not." Dean gave a harsh laugh. "It never… matters what… I… want or need… Always Sam-Sam-Sam. So selfish… Even when I… _begged_…" His voice trailed off, and he started coughing.

Sam flinched at his brother's words, and then carefully moved to place the back of his hand against Dean's forehead. "You have a fever…" He eyed Dean with concern, and attempted not to let it show how much those words had hurt. _He's sick, hurt, and probably delirious… He doesn't know what he's saying… right?_ Sam carefully let go of Dean's hand. "I'm just gonna get you some water, Dean…"

"Suuure… you are…"

Sam closed his eyes a moment, and sent a silent prayer up to whoever was listening. _Please… My brother _has_ to be all right._

_

* * *

_

_He shot you._

_He left you._

_He hates you – he doesn't need you. You're better off without him._

_If you didn't have him continually at your heels, you could be anything you wanted. _Do_ anything you wanted._

_You saved him from a fire – twice – and he isn't even grateful._

Words, phrases, wrapped around Dean's soul, holding him trapped as effectively as the chains were. He could do nothing but watch helplessly as the demon's words cut his little brother deeply.

_Come on, Sam! You _have_ to know that that isn't me!_ Where were psychic visions and blinding headaches when they were needed? Dean knew the sort of things that would hurt his brother, and the demon had access to every single weapon. And it would use Dean's body to cause as much damage to Sam as possible until the kid broke down.

"Why are you doing this, you bastard!" Dean yelled at the darkness.

The only answer that came was more maniacal, cackling laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Agony**

**Chapter Two**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from Supernatural, and I'm not making any money from this fic. Also, the plot idea for this comes from a challenge posted to a particular site – so I don't own that, either

Thank you to the people who have read and reviewed the first chapter of this, as well as those who have just read it. This is quite interesting to write

**Warning(s):** Strong violence; horror; spoilers up to season one; some swearing

* * *

_You know, there's no point in fighting me._

"Shut up," Dean muttered, wishing that he knew how to close both the ears and eyes of his mind. "Lalalala… I'm not listening to you." He knew that he was being extremely childish with that – but what else could he do?

_Surrender to the demon's will? Give my body up to it forever? I think not…_

_You will sooner or later…_ the voice murmured; and, for a moment, something soft and velvety caressed Dean's cheek.

Dean instantly jerked backwards, feeling sick. He was beginning to wish that he had been paying much more attention to Sam's powers, because he could certainly use mind powers right now.

The demon was clearly reading Dean's thoughts. He could hear it laughing softly to itself, and the sound grated on his ears.

_I guess this is how Dad must have felt…_

Abruptly, the laughter stopped – just as if a switch had been thrown. For a long while, there was absolute silence. Then, _I won't make the same mistake with _you_ that I did with your father._

"He fought you." Dean smirked. "You weren't expecting that, were you? Must have surprised you – one of your victims fighting back and actually _regaining_ control! Not so tough, are you?"

_SILENCE!_

Dean smirked again, happy that at least he seemed to be getting to the demon. "I'm gonna keep at it, ya know. You've been tangling with the wrong guys here!"

_You just don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you?_

The force of the blow knocked Dean violently backwards, and he saw little bright lights. It was a struggle, but he was able to sit up again. There was blood running down the side of his mouth, and Dean wiped it away, for some reason not surprised that he could be hurt, here in his own mind.

_Of course you can be._ The demon had regained its calm. _This may be your mind, but I've been around since the beginning of time. I was there for the crucifixion._ It sounded like it was smirking – if it even had a mouth to smirk with. _Compared to me? The others are just children. You may have put a tiny dent in my forces, but there's no way you'd be able to get them all. There are many more of us than you'd think._

Abruptly, Dean had the sense of the demon turning away from him. _No!_ He knew with a deadly certainty that, once the demon left, it would go after his brother.

A lifetime of protecting Sammy freed Dean's tongue. "What about your kids, huh? You know, when I did that exorcism? I'm _glad_ I did it. I'm glad I sent your bitch of a daughter back to hell."

Despite being prepared for the blow, it still took Dean somewhat by surprise. For a moment, he just lay in the darkness, gasping. It had felt like ice-cold talons were ripping through his soul.

Dean clenched his teeth on a whimper that threatened to escape. He refused to give the demon that satisfaction.

_Better not bait it _too_ much, though… Otherwise, I'll never be able to regain control and rescue Sammy._

Dean realised that the demon was able to read his thoughts – but it wasn't like what had just gone through his brain was private in any way. _Anyway… if the bastard can read my mind, it'll know that I'm not going down without a fight._

_You stay there like a good little boy, 'son',_ the demon said. _Appreciate the break I'm giving you from the pain – it won't last long._

As much as Dean didn't want to get hurt again, he couldn't in all honesty just let the demon go after his brother. "What's the matter?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Am I getting to be too much for you? I'm hurt; really."

This time, it wasn't a blow. Dean couldn't stop himself from flinching as he felt something sharp rake down his chest.

Dean gasped, and would have slumped, were it not for the invisible chains holding him up. _Shit, I'm gonna die…_ "You can't kill me," he managed to choke out. "If you do, how are you gonna possess me?" Dean did his best to avoid his mind turning to his brother – he certainly didn't want the demon to get any ideas.

As the pain continued, Dean gritted his teeth, and attempted to ride it out – but it was difficult not to make any sound.

Finally, the pain stopped, and Dean slumped, feeling something wet soak through his shirt. _Blood…?_ He wanted to check – but he couldn't see in the dark. Besides, his hands wouldn't move.

_Don't think that I won't kill you,_ the demon warned. _When you stop being useful to me; when you push me too far, I'll destroy you. And then who will protect your brother? Well? Haven't you got anything to say?_

Defeated, Dean hung his head. He'd never stay quiet – cut back on his smart-assed comments – for himself, or even anyone else, but the demon had just struck at the one thing guaranteed to get him to stop.

_Because I can't let anything happen to Sam… And if _I'm_ dead, the demon will be free to go after him._

This time, when the demon left him, Dean didn't try to stop it.

_Better for the demon to trick him, hurt him with words, than to take him._

For a moment, Dean touched the necklace he wore, trying to draw some small measure of comfort from it. He hoped, _prayed_, that Sam would be observant enough to _see_ that the demon wasn't his older brother.

But Dean had the awful feeling that the demon would succeed in breaking Sam's spirit…

* * *

"What do you mean, you're _leaving_!" Sam stared in disbelief at his father.

John Winchester gave a sigh. "Listen to me, Sam," he said. "The demon's still out there. It's gonna keep killing until it's destroyed, and that needs to happen soon."

"But why can't I come with you?"

John glanced towards the bed his oldest son was lying on. "Because you need to stay and look after Dean," the man answered. "As kids, Dean spent a lot of time looking after you; making sure you were all right. Now you have to return the favour."

_He's right… But I don't want him to go…_ "Dad, please. Can't you at least wait until Dean regains consciousness?"

John shook his head. "I wish I could, Sammy," he said, with true regret in his voice. "But the more I stay here, the more I'm going to put you and your brother in danger. That son of a bitch nearly killed you and Dean already by using me. You're my boys – and I don't want to see you get hurt. I made that mistake once already. I won't make it again."

"Dad, the demon's after _me_. You must have heard what it said. It wants me, and the others like me." Even as he spoke, Sam could see that his father wasn't having any of it.

John shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sammy. My purpose is to try and draw it away from the two of you. Good luck." With that, John Winchester walked out of the door and away from his sons, again.

It was the hardest decision he had ever had to make.


	3. Chapter 3

**Agony**

**Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from Supernatural, and I'm not making any money from this fic. I don't even really own the plot of this, since the idea comes from a challenge posted by someone

**Warning(s):** Violence; some swearing; spoilers for the entire first season of Supernatural; AU; mental pain of the characters; description of Dean getting… pretty much beaten up

**Author's Note:** Thank you to those people who have taken the time to leave a review, as well as to those who have read this fic so far. I apologise for taking so long to update here, but I was working on other things as well.

Having said that… Please enjoy!

* * *

Dean leaned back slightly, closing his eyes for a moment. He felt really hopeless, especially since there was nothing he could do about the demon having control of his body. _This must be something like what Sam must have felt when the psychotic doctor took control of his body and messed with his mind…_

_You all right, Deany-boy?_

Dean flinched at the mental tone – it was unlike him, but he was too scared of what the demon might do to his brother. "What do you want?" he demanded. _If that bastard hurts my brother, I _swear_ I will kill it!_

The demon laughed at the thoughts going through Dean's head. _Face it, boy. You're no match for me. And even if you _were_, you couldn't do anything to me, since you _know_ that I'll just go after your brother._

Dean hung his head, the feeling of helplessness growing. "Please don't hurt Sammy," he whispered. If it came to it, Dean would never hesitate to beg for his brother's life. He wouldn't hesitate to beg for his father's life, either – but then, John Winchester had already left.

_Now if only Sammy would be that smart…_

_He won't leave you,_ the demon commented. _And you _know_ that. Let's be honest, Dean-boy. You don't want your brother to go away and leave you alone. It's like I told you. You need your family – but they don't need you. Not in the same way. You're of no use to them._

Dean closed his eyes for a moment, struggling mentally to keep his focus. If he lost his mind because of what was happening, then there would be no one to protect Sam from the demon's evil.

_Do you really think you can resist me?_ the demon asked. _Let me show you just what I mean._

Then, the walls around Dean fell away to reveal another place – that was very familiar to the young man.

He was on the floor of the asylum, his chest aching with pain that almost took his breath away. Lifting his head, Dean saw his baby brother holding the gun filled with rock salt trained on him. The pain didn't just come from the rock salt embedded in his chest; it also came from his broken heart.

Even though he knew that Sam wasn't able to help himself.

_You see?_ the demon whispered inside Dean's mind. _You'd give your life for your brother – but _he_ would be happier if you were dead. Give him a gun and the right motivation, and he'll shoot you._

_It wasn't his fault…_ Dean insisted. _Doctor Ellicott messed with his mind. I know Sam would never try to kill me if he were in full control of himself._

_Really?_

"I hate you, Dean," Sam was saying. "It was your fault that Jess died. You should never have come to get me in Stafford. I was _happy_ there. And I'm not happy here with you. I wish I'd never had to come with you!"

"That's not how it happened," Dean whispered. Despite his words, though, he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the hatred in his brother's face. _If he's going to kill me… I don't want to watch him do it._

"_This_ is what's happening." Sam moved closer to Dean, and then backhanded him hard across the face.

The force of the blow snapped Dean's head back, and he winced with the pain. Of course, that was nothing compared to the pain in his chest from the rock salt – but since it was his brother doing this, the mental pain was quite strong.

"Why don't you get up and fight?" Sam taunted. Without waiting for any kind of response, he slammed the barrel of the gun against the side of his brother's head.

Dean gasped, and blinked several times in order to clear his vision. This might just be going on inside his mind – but the pain was very real. "Sammy…" he whispered, trying to get through to his brother in any way.

"It's _Sam_," Sam replied. "Not Sammy; Sam. Understand?" He didn't let Dean give any reply before hitting him once again with the barrel of the gun.

Dean could feel the bruises on his face, and he winced. "Are you going to kill me?" he asked softly. _He really _does_ hate me that much._ As Sam moved back slightly, Dean tried to push himself up, despite the pain from his wounds. The only thing he could think of was that he had to burn Ellicott's bones.

And then Sam would hopefully go back to normal. Dean refused to believe that his brother really hated him. Or, at least, he _tried_ to. Tried to keep up the hope.

But it was so difficult…

Before Dean could get to his feet, Sam hit him again. Dean slumped slightly, blinking a few times to clear his vision. His forehead felt a little damp, but he didn't dare take his eyes off Sam long enough to check if he was bleeding or not.

Sam was suddenly holding a regular gun on his brother. Dean had no idea where his little brother had got the weapon from, and it didn't really matter. Without saying anything, Dean raised his hands in surrender. "Sammy… _Sam_. You don't want to do this."

Sam's lips twisted into a cruel smirk. "Yes I do." His finger tightened on the trigger.

Dean braced himself for the shot. However, it never came. The asylum fell away around him, and he was back in the prison in his mind.

Dean stumbled back and fell against the wall. He might no longer be in the asylum, but the pain was still there. He gasped and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing shallowly.

_It's soul pain,_ the demon whispered. _Much more effective than physical pain, wouldn't you agree?_

"Go to hell!" Dean got out through gritted teeth.

The demon laughed. Then, _Watch how you speak to me, boy. How do you think little Sammy would feel if his big brother suddenly attacked him? Killing your family is a big crime in this day and age, Dean-boy. You'll be locked up for _years

Dean lowered his head, feeling defeated. "Please don't hurt Sam…" he mumbled.

_If you behave yourself, I won't have to._

* * *

Sam slumped in the chair next to his brother's bed, watching Dean's pale face as the man slept. The younger brother felt tired and heartsick about what had happened, and it was made that much worse by the fact that Dean seemed to blame him for what happened.

_I'm sorry,_ Sam thought miserably to the still form. He didn't know exactly what he had done wrong – but it had to be _something_. Dean was hurting and in a fever, but when he was lucid, he talked continually about getting revenge. On Sam.

_It's not like Dean. But… I guess I've been too caught up in my problems; my own thoughts of revenge. I've made it clear that I'm gonna stay to get that demon, and then I'm going to leave him again._

_No wonder he's angry with me…_

Sam laced his fingers through his brother's cold ones, praying to whatever god or spirit watched over the Winchesters that Dean would wake up and be all right. And then he could apologise for hurting his brother; for the way he had played on Dean's love for him, even if he hadn't intended it that way.

"Please…" Sam whispered. Suddenly, his head jerked up, and he stared back over his shoulder as he thought he saw something passing by out of the corner of his eye.

There was nothing there.

Turning back to his brother, Sam's breath caught in his throat as he realised that Dean's eyes were open.


	4. Chapter 4

**Agony**

**Chapter Four**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from Supernatural, and I'm not making any money from this fic. Any character you don't recognise from the show, I probably own. Anything you recognise from another fandom, I don't own

**Warning(s):** Violence; character torture; some swearing; spoilers for the entirety of season one of Supernatural; automatic AU for any episode following the first season

**Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed this fic so far. You guys all really mean a lot. Thanks! –Hugs-.

Hope you enjoy the latest chapter!

* * *

Dean could do nothing but watch helplessly as his own eyes were forced open. The first thing he saw – outside his prison – was Sam's worried gaze. And, for a few moments, Dean was overwhelmed with the most intense _longing_. He wanted nothing more than to tell Sammy that he was going to be all right – that everything would be fine.

But he couldn't. Nothing would be fine now. Not unless the demon let him go.

And that wasn't going to happen.

What the demon had managed to do in regards to manipulating Dean's mind scared the man. He'd never been possessed before, and had never realised just what it had to mean for the victim.

Now, he had a front view.

Dean wanted to ask the demon not to hurt Sam – but something told him that, no matter how much he begged, the demon would just do whatever it wanted. Besides, the demon had already told him to shut up, or he'd kill Sam while still in Dean's body. The demon had long since hit on Dean's biggest weakness.

He would do _anything_ to protect his brother.

_I just hope that Sam can work out that it's not me, and realise that I'm possessed,_ Dean thought. The trouble was, he knew that, once a demon possessed someone, it gave them full and complete access to all of their thoughts and feelings, with the person being powerless to stop it.

_Pay attention, Dean-boy,_ the demon whispered in his ear.

Dean flinched as the demon spoke, and wanted to argue. However, if he could save Sam's life by cooperating – at least for a while – then he would do so. So, no matter how much he didn't want to, Dean focused his attention back on Sammy.

"Where's dad?"

Dean gritted his teeth slightly, hearing the demon speak using his voice. _Come on, Sammy… You're the college boy. If anyone can figure it out, it's you._

Dean watched as Sam bit his lip slightly and looked away, avoiding meeting his eyes. "Dad left, Dean," he admitted finally, looking like he felt really guilty about it. "I'm sorry…"

"What, did you two have a fight or something?" the demon demanded belligerently. "I can't believe you, Sam… You _know_ that I want us to be a family. And you've just gone and chased our dad away – again."

_That's not true,_ Dean thought, watching Sam as closely as he could in the hope that his brother would realise that something wasn't right. _Don't listen to it, Sammy… You should know that isn't me. You know me better than that._ Dean had the feeling that Sam _was_ taking the things the demon was saying at face value.

The trouble was, Sam was more sensitive than Dean or their father…

_At the very least, his psychic abilities should alert him to _something_ being wrong…_ Dean clenched his fists at his sides, seeing the hurt in Sam's expression. It was quickly gone – but Dean knew what he'd seen.

"I'll rip you apart with my bare hands if you hurt Sam," Dean stated coldly to the demon. He didn't care about anything else other than his brother's safety. And he meant the threat with all his heart.

The demon merely let out a laugh. _I'd like to see you try. Really._ The monster seemed to find it amusing more than anything else. _I'll do whatever I want to. You should know that by this time. Besides, you're hardly in a position to make threats._

Dean gritted his teeth slightly. _How can I even fight possession?_ he wondered. After all, Dean knew how to fight a physical enemy. But an enemy of the mind was something completely different…

_Sammy…_ Dean watched his brother struggle to reconcile his older brother with the hurtful man before him now. _I think he's too close to it… Who'd want to believe that their brother's possessed?_ It was still really frustrating, though…

"I'm sorry, Dean," Sam was saying. "I did try to get him to stay… He left anyway, though. He wants to find the demon. If you want, we can go and look for him – once you're recovered from your injuries, of course…" Despite his words, Sam still looked kind of hurt – and also confused. "How are you feeling, Dean? It might be a good idea to get you to the hospital and get you checked out."

"Not gonna happen, Sammy." His brother disappeared for a moment as the demon closed Dean's eyes briefly. "And there's not much you can do without me, it seems. You're not very useful, Sam."

"Leave him alone!" Dean yelled.

_I told you. Don't try to give me orders,_ the demon replied.

"If you have to hurt someone, hurt me," Dean said, trying to draw the demon's attention away from Sam and onto him. "There's a lot here you can work with. You think Sam's life was messed up? You haven't seen mine yet."

_Don't worry – I'll get to you._

Sam blinked, his eyes darkening as the demon's words seemed to register on his mind. "Dean… you don't know what you're saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying," the demon replied. "I'm just telling the truth for the first time. I'm sick of protecting you, Sammy. You're so weak. You should just go and live your 'normal' life. It's pretty obvious that you're ashamed of me, of dad. You've always wanted to have a normal family. That's why you didn't contact me at all when you went to Stanford. Four years without a single phone call…"

_Sammy needed some time away from us…_ Dean thought. _I don't blame him for it at all._

_Sure you do,_ the demon replied. _You forget – I can see your thoughts now. You _are_ unhappy with your brother. You think that he shouldn't have abandoned you and your dad. It makes you mad…_

"No!" Dean yelled. "You hear me, you son of a bitch?!"

Sam's head instantly jerked up, and Dean saw him look around the motel room wildly. "Did you hear that?" he asked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Agony**

**Chapter Five**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from Supernatural, and I'm not making any money from this fic. Any characters you don't recognise from the show, I probably own. Anything you recognise from another fandom, I don't own

**Warning(s):** Strong violence; some swearing; spoilers for the entirety of season one; character torture; automatic AU for any episode following season one

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much to everyone who's left a review for this fic so far . I have responded personally to any signed reviews. But if anyone leaves an anonymous review, it would be great if they could also leave an e-mail address so that I can say thanks/respond to any questions or constructive criticism.

Enjoy!

* * *

"What are you talking about, Sammy?" Dean narrowed his eyes, watching his brother closely with a look that somehow reminded Sam of a predatory bird studying a field mouse. 

Sam returned his gaze to Dean, frowning a little. "Did you hear that…?" he asked, trying to forget the cruel words his brother had said to him. _It sounded like Dean… But is that even possible…?_ Sam frowned, and looked more closely at Dean, remembering how the demon had left their dad's body. _Is it possible? Could Dean be… possessed?_ The thought was scary, but it would certainly explain a lot.

"Hear what, Sam?" Dean narrowed his eyes. "Are you hearing voices now as well as having visions?"

_If Dean _is_ possessed, then I can't let the demon know that I suspect,_ Sam thought. _And I have to assume that the 'normal' things to do with exorcising demons don't count here._ As long as he could hide the pain that the demon's words were causing him, Sam could deal with saving his brother.

He didn't want to have to deal with the possibility that Dean _wasn't_ possessed just yet.

"I must have been imagining things," Sam said. "I didn't hear anything." He stood up. "I'm going out to the shops. Want me to get you anything? You know, anything that's easy and inexpensive."

"A cappuccino and a doughnut would be great," Dean replied. "And get a local newspaper while you're out. We need to look into any jobs while we're here."

Sam hesitated, suddenly no longer as certain about Dean being possessed. _If I said about it to him, he could just laugh and deny it._ But Sam wasn't as certain about that, so he wasn't going to say anything, just in case.

It would be better if he could talk to Missouri first.

Still, Sam wasn't about to let Dean go on a job, even if he _wasn't _possessed. "I'll get you a newspaper," he told his brother. "But we're _not_ going to take on a job just yet. You're still not recovered from whatever that demon did to you. I think I should actually take you to the hospital, though."

Dean shook his head, frowning slightly. "I'm not going to the hospital, Sam. There's no need. I'm _fine_. And I want to get out and about again, rather than be stuck here in this room with _you_ for too long."

Sam bit his lip slightly, trying hard not to let that get to him. _I need to just hold on, until I can find out whether or not he _is_ possessed… and then I can do something about it._ "Well… let's just see, all right? There might not be anything going on here. And you need to rest up as much as possible before we look at trying to find that demon."

"Not gonna happen, Sammy. Although I appreciate the concern."

Sam took a good look at his brother, and had to admit that Dean did look a bit better – although he was still rather pale and a bit too thin. _It reminds me of when he was in hospital after having that electric shock that damaged his heart…_ It had happened a while ago, but Sam still couldn't get rid of the fear that his brother could die before he was supposed to.

Even though it was always a possibility with what they did…

"Well, whatever," Sam answered. "Let's just wait and see, all right?" He had no intention of letting Dean go on a hunt – but there was no need to actually tell his brother that. If all else failed, he could always drug Dean.

Or _try_ to, anyway.

"Well, then," Dean said. "Go, all right? I'm hungry, and I _need_ caffeine."

Sam nodded. "The queues might be really long, so I could be a while," he responded as he turned to leave the room, reaching into his pocket to close his fingers around his cell phone as he did so.

He didn't take it out just then, though.

"Of course," Dean replied, barely glancing at his brother.

Sam hesitated a moment longer, but then turned to leave the room without saying anything further.

* * *

Dean watched his little brother leave, feeling suddenly hopeless. He had no way of knowing if Sam was suspicious or not, but he knew that – even if Sam _did_ suspect – his brother wouldn't let the demon know he did. 

_But you're intelligent enough to know… _Please_ realise the truth, Sammy,_ Dean silently begged – which was unlike him.

But he was starting to get desperate…

_Even if your brother _does_ realise, it'll be too late for him to do anything about it,_ the demon told Dean.

Dean was going to make a reply to that, but he suddenly became aware of the fact that the demon was moving his body off the bed. _Where are you going?_ Dean demanded. _You know, if Sam gets back to find us gone, he's gonna get suspicious – if he isn't already._ Actually, that wouldn't be _too_ much of a problem.

_He won't get suspicious,_ the demon answered as it walked Dean over to the door of the hotel room. _I have a couple of calls to make – but you'll be back before little Sammy returns, don't worry._

Dean frowned to himself, wondering just what the demon was planning as it made its way out of the hotel room.

And how he could stop it…


	6. Chapter 6

**Agony  
****Chapter Six**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from Supernatural, and I'm not making any money from this fic. The plot of this story comes from a challenge posted on one of the fan fiction websites I frequent. Any character you don't recognise from the show, I probably own. Anything you recognise from another fandom, I don't own

**Warning(s):** AU for the second season of Supernatural; spoilers for the entirety of the first season; violence; some swearing; character hurt

**Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to leave a review, and also put this fic onto Favourites/Story Alerts. I hope you all enjoy this latest chapter!

* * *

After leaving the motel, Sam gave a slight frown as he looked over at the Impala. Dean wouldn't be too happy if he took his brother's beloved car without him – or his permission – but the alternative was to either take a bus, or go back into the motel room to tell Dean what he was doing.

_I love my brother, but he's really acting strangely right now – which is natural if he's possessed. But if he's not…_ Sam shook his head, unwilling to let himself dwell on that possibility. _He _has_ to be possessed._ Besides, Sam wanted to try and contact Missouri. He felt that doing so while this close to the motel would be an extremely bad idea. _I don't want the demon to know that I suspect…_

As Sam unlocked the Impala and got in, he briefly considered giving their father a call. He quickly pushed that idea aside, though. _Dad walked out on us… on Dean. All he cares about is the demon. Dad told me to shoot him when the demon was inside his body – who's to say that he wouldn't kill Dean?_

Dean had spent most of their lives taking care of Sam. It was now the younger brother's turn to take care of the elder.

Sam turned the ignition on, and then put the car into gear. As he backed out of the space, he took one hand off the steering wheel to take out his cell phone and dial Missouri's number.

_Please pick up, _Sam begged silently as he slowly drove down the street. His free hand clenched and unclenched on the steering wheel as he listened impatiently to the sound of ringing on the other end of the phone.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, there was a barely audible click as the phone was picked up. "Hello, Sam," Missouri's comforting tone said. "What's wrong?"

Sam took a deep breath, feeling a little surprised by how relieved he felt to hear the psychic's voice. He wasn't surprised by the fact that Missouri knew it was him calling – she _was_ a psychic, after all. "Missouri… How much do you know about what's just happened to me, my brother, and our dad?"

"Much more than I did before you rang," Missouri answered after a moment. "I was sorry to hear about the deaths of Caleb and Pastor Jim. It must have been hard for you all – especially with Jim."

"Yeah." Sam sighed a little. "I'm really worried about Dean, Missouri… I know you can't just pull facts out of the air, but I wondered if you would be able to come down here, and… see if you can tell whether or not he's really possessed."

"Sam, honey," Missouri said. "I know how scared you are for your brother. I'll do all that I can to help you, and that includes flying down to see you. I'll get a flight as soon as possible, and give you a call once I've booked it, all right?"

Sam let out the breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding, and pushed away the sudden urge to cry. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so much." _I can't break down now… Because then no one will be there for Dean._

"You just hang in there, all right, Sam?" Missouri said. "Your brother needs you to be strong for him right now."

_Yeah… That's what I keep telling myself._ "I know," Sam replied.

"You take care of yourself, Sweetie," Missouri said. "I'll see you very soon, all right?"

"Yeah… Thanks again, Missouri," Sam said quietly. The sense of relief he felt at the psychic's support was indescribable. He hadn't even realised just how alone he felt until Missouri had agreed to help him.

"You're very welcome, Sweetie," Missouri replied gently. "I'll see you soon, all right?"

Sam nodded, even though Missouri couldn't see it. Knowing the psychic, though, she was probably aware of that. "I won't tell Dean that you're coming," he said. _It's not like I want to lie to him – but I'm pretty sure my brother won't react well to knowing now that Missouri's coming down, whether he's possessed or not._

"You're probably right," Missouri agreed. "But you just be very careful, Sam. It'll be fine if your brother isn't possessed – but if he _is_, even the love Dean has for you won't let him protect you."

Sam said nothing, biting his lip slightly. He was beginning to wonder if Dean even did love him anymore. He swallowed, feeling close to tears again – but crying definitely wasn't going to help his brother.

Not at all.

"Don't ever doubt the fact that Dean loves you," Missouri told Sam in a slightly scolding tone. "Your brother's too stubborn to admit it himself, but he really needs you around. You're not going to give up on him."

Sam recognised Missouri's words as the order they were, and closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm not gonna give up on him," he agreed. _She doesn't have to tell me that. If our positions were reversed, Dean would never give up on me – he'd do anything to find out what was going on and how to stop it. I can't and won't do any different._

"You just hang in there, Sam," Missouri continued. "And remember – you're not alone. You're never alone. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah…" Sam sighed a little. "Thank you again," he added. "Give me a call when you've booked the flight… Do you need my cell phone number?"

"Boy, have you forgotten who you're talking to?" Missouri demanded. "I don't need you to tell me what I can already find out!" She softened the scolding with her next words. "Give me a call if you have any problems, all right? Otherwise, I'll call you this afternoon – tomorrow at the latest."

"All right. Talk to you later – bye." Sam disconnected the call, and stared blankly out of the window for a moment. Talking to Missouri hadn't served to ease his fears at all. Though he had to admit that he now felt slightly better. Maybe it was just something to do with the way Missouri was.

Sam shook his head slightly, and turned his attention back to the driving, trying to push away his feelings of worry and guilt.

* * *

"So… Do you come here a lot?" the dark-haired woman asked, looking into Dean's eyes and smiling flirtatiously. She toyed with the straw in her drink with one hand, her full attention on the man.

_Hey, I know I like the ladies – but usually, I like… you know… interacting with them myself,_ Dean muttered. He stared at the woman through his own eyes, powerless to do anything to warn her to get away from him.

_Damn!_

The demon ignored Dean's protests, just like it had since heading out of the motel. Dean gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as the demon talked to the woman, using the hunter's voice and some of his best pick-up lines.

_As much as I hate it, I can't actually do much about it,_ Dean thought, a little bitterly. _I probably can't even save the woman – I really hope she's not stupid enough to go home with a complete stranger._ Dean didn't really hold much hope there, though. Most of the time, he wanted the exact opposite.

_Maybe… if I can find out just what it wants… I'll be able to find a way of stopping the demon…_

_It's not going to happen._ The demon's tone was cold, but at the same time, filled with an almost maniacal glee. _You're playing with the big boys now, Deany. I'm nothing like the low-level demons you've faced before._

Dean stared blankly at the bar, watching as the demon raised the glass of vodka and drained half of the glass. _Aw, man… Vodka's not even my favourite alcoholic drink. And I'm not even getting to taste it…_

The demon growled, and Dean couldn't help smiling. _Heh, I can still annoy the best of them…_ He quickly lost that smile, though, as he realised that the demon had turned his attention back to the woman – who was beginning to look somewhat disinterested in the whole conversation, perhaps because she had said the same thing twice.

"I thought I heard my cell phone ring," the demon apologised. "I had to listen for a moment to check it wasn't mine."

_Oh, come on… She's not gonna fall for _that

To Dean's surprise – and annoyance – the woman seemed to be buying it. She smiled at the demon, and then leaned forward to sip her drink, still keeping her eyes on him. "So… Shall we go back to your place?" she asked.

_Oh, come on! I _like_ being able to chase women – I don't like ones who are easy._

_Easy prey is _exactly_ what I'm looking for,_ the demon replied. _You can't save her, so don't even try – or I'll hurt your brother._

Dean lowered his head, knowing that – for now – he was powerless. If it had to be a choice between his brother and a total stranger, he would choose his brother – every time.

And the demon was fully aware of that.

"Of course," the demon replied. "My kid brother's staying with me – but he won't be back for a while yet, so we'd be perfectly safe." He drained the rest of the vodka in one swallow, and Dean couldn't help grimacing slightly. _I wonder what the demon wants with this woman – and why._

The woman nodded, and stood up. She then had to put a hand on the bar to steady herself, and laughed a little. "Whoa… I must have drunk a bit too much there."

"Janie?"

The demon turned, and Dean could see a little kid of about ten years old with shoulder-length black hair and wide dark eyes. The family resemblance to the woman the demon had been flirting with – Janie – was obvious.

"Rachel!" Janie looked a little chagrined as she caught her balance, and crouched down beside the girl. "I'm sorry," she addressed the demon, her eyes suddenly bright, and her expression more alert. "It's my little sister – I'm her guardian. But I left her with a babysitter this evening… What are you doing here?" she addressed Rachel.

The girl shrugged. "I wanted to see you," she answered. "You were gone, and I didn't know where you were." There was the faintest hint of accusation in her tone.

Janie frowned, glancing around while she crouched next to her sister. "Damn babysitter," she muttered. "I should have known I can't really trust a teenager to do a proper job." She sighed a little. "I'll take you home, all right?"

Dean could feel the demon's frustration and anger, and quickly yelled, _You can't kill her! Pick someone else – she has a kid. Who would look after her if something happened to Janie?!_

_Do I _look_ like I care?_ the demon demanded.

Dean had to think fast. As he spoke his next words, he sent a silent apology to whatever powers that were listening, and hoped it wouldn't cause him to fall further in his brother's view. _Look… if you give your word not to harm anyone like Janie – and my brother – I'll help you._ He hardly paused to think of the consequences of the vow he had just sworn. He remembered too much about his own childhood – and trying to take care of his little brother.

The demon hesitated, and Dean could almost see the little wheels turning inside the monster's mind. Finally, it replied, _Fine. Point me in the direction of some other woman, and I'll take her instead._

Dean flinched at the order to choose someone else to die. But there was nothing else he could do. As the demon turned its gaze around the pub, Dean narrowed his eyes as he noticed an older woman sitting in one corner, looking quite worn and tired.

Dean studied her for as long as he could, and then made his decision – one of the hardest he had ever had to make.

_Take her._


End file.
